Shattered Memories
by Taiheiyou
Summary: Finally, Dumbledore had found the key to Voldemort: A kid that used to be Death Eater's test subject. Almost invulnerable to magic, it gradually reveals the secrets of Death Eaters and their cruel lord. No slash. Warning for lots of blood.
1. Chapter 1

_I want to state this: the Sirius in this story HAS been in Azkaban. He isn't too disheartened anymore and hasn't lost it completely though. He's very much his seventeen-year-old self more than a traumatized hero, with the notorious exception of a few (and truly pointless) tantrums every now and then._

_**Disclaimer:** don't be silly. I couldn't have thought up Harry Potter even if I_ wanted _to… maybe a couple of the characters you don't recognize, but nothing HP-related._

**Some faintly useful tips:**

_Mostly, things written in italics mean some emphasis in the words. _

_People's thoughts are written like this:_ «Why would I need to know this? »

_Actual talking, between quotation marks: _"Erm… thanks for the info"

_And just narration goes like this: _And the story finally starts after the author's continuous nonsense and prattling on and on… uu,

_Now, anticipated thanks for reading the story. Hope you don't hate it all that much._

* * *

"And just _what_ do we know about this girl?" I, Sirius Orion Black, was pissed beyond all means. Dumbledore, McGonagall and bloody Remus Lupin want _me_ to allow some wicked girl _move into my house_. I had volunteered the house for the Order meetings (not that I could do a thing beyond that) that much is true, but not as a bloody hotel! "You've told me that she's been Voldemort's toy-girl/pet and so on and so on, yes, but it doesn't make any sense to me! What could she _possibly_ benefit the Order in? She's a teen, bloody hell!" 

Across the table, Moony was giving me his you-are-being-an-ass look, which I, of course, completely ignored. Dumbledore, on the other hand, sat at the end of the table, simply being Dumbledore: "Mister Black," bloody hell, it's been _ages_ since he last called me that. Makes me remember the times when us Marauders were being grounded after being caught in the middle of a prank… "May I hear your _suggestion_ to the current situation?" I just had a feeling that he'd say that...

---

Since some months ago, just a couple days before September 1st; I was having some fun around the house, assisted by one of George and Fred's extensible-ears. If I had to make a wild guess, I'd say the extensible-ear I had wasn't the only survivor of the Molly Massacre of June 23rd. But, back into my story, it was all going on nicely, until I picked McGonagall's voice immediately at my right. Just by her hushed voice, I got the idea that she _wasn't_ supposed to be there. Then the whole expedition went from '_nice_' to bloody_ fascinating_.

I couldn't hear as much as I would've liked to, unfortunately. She was talking quickly and nervously (very un-her), actually _whispering_, but the voice that came after her I did catch perfectly: "I've finally found her. Minerva, I think this is what we've been waiting for. She most probably has all the keys to our success this time." By the time, I was breathless. It was Dumbledore's voice, I had no doubt; but he talked in an intense, extremely agitated voice that freaked me out _even more_ than McGonagall's subdued tone.

A couple minutes after more 'are you completely and absolutely positive that this is our biggest chance, Albus?' and some 'yes Minerva, I am utterly positive'; I caught the hurried farewells and the tip-toeing towards the door. I Apparated in the upper floor instantly, not actually caring whose room it was as long as it kept me from McGonagall's _certain_ rage. Lucky for me it was just Moony's room.

**But this was a completely different situation!**

They want to put the freakish girl to sleep and _stay_ at _my_ place‼ "Well, there sure _must_ be somewhere else to leave her, no?" I won't lie. I _know_ there is no other way or Dumbledore wouldn't have _asked_ me to do this 'favor' to him… anyways, I like being a dick-head. I had a deep frown (very child-looking according at the glare that Moony was shooting me), but be on my side here people! I didn't want to baby-sit some girl that Voldemort had used as guinea pig!, Please, we're talking about Sirius here, the one that spent 12 years being eaten alive by dementors! I don't own a bloody orphanage nor am I some kind of bloody retired Healer… _bloody _hell.

"There. Is. Not." Moony said, starting to loose his patience. I looked at the three grim faces around the table. «This fight is lost to Sirius Black», I couldn't help but think. I sighed and rose. There was no solid argument I could give them anymore, and since '_I don't want to_' doesn't count as such…

"Fine. She'll stay and I'll keep a constant eye on her." I said, not meaning it at all. Even though that was all that Dumbledore and McGonagall needed to hear, Remus didn't buy a word of it. He glared, scolding me with his eyes. I quickly looked aside, pretending I was oblivious to it all. "I assume you brought her with you, since you've pushed so much." I said, after a heavy sigh. I scratched my nape, staring at Dumbledore… who just smiled and Apparated without moving a finger, followed suite by McGonagall (who didn't resist the urge to stare angrily at me).

Remus still stared at me while I moved up and down the kitchen, making some coffee the muggle way since domestic charms just weren't my thing at all. I ignored him completely, but up to a point he started to annoy me. "May I offer you a cup of my lousy coffee, Mr. Lupin?" I said in an extremely polite voice… so that he knew I was pissed _and _making fun of him.

"Well of course you may, Sirius my friend!" he teased as well. _Damn _he's so much better than me at this. "…as long as you don't start bitching about it later you _bloody ass_!" he snapped right away, extreme irritation in his voice.

Even _I_ was surprised to hear the always-so-composed Remus blurt out like that. I stared at him, surprise tattooed all over my face. I would have dropped the coffee thing if it wasn't already on the table with the cups. "What _was_ that, Sirius? Are you losing your mind? Do you actually think that Dumbledore hadn't thought of everything else there was?" he _reprimand_ me. I cocked an eyebrow. Remus had sure grown older, but he was the same, proper Moony that I used to drive nuts a decade and a half ago. "Are you _insane_?" Yep, _that's_ his phrase. To him, there's nothing worse than being called 'insane'.

"Well, do I _seem_ like so?" I said, having calmly a seat in front of him. He was hurling flames trough his eyes, but I did my best at not minding it in the very least. He rolled his ambarish eyes and sighed, rubbing stressed his forehead. He tried breathing in and out calmly, and it was kinda difficult to him. «Boy, I've pissed him bad», I thought to myself while sipping from my coffee.

"You know what, Sirius?" No, I certainly do not. "Just don't behave like a thug towards a mentally and physically abused girl, would you? That is the only thing I want. Can you not do that? Are you _incapable_ of that sort of mercy towards other people?" Wow! He's bloody mad as _hell_! But that… wait… he's too annoyed even for Remus. I stared at him a moment, blankly (with earned me an irritated "What?!", very rude of him by the way). I went across the room, to the muggle calendar Hermione forgot once the vacations were over. «So _that_ was it…» I thought, smiling.

After checking the actual date, it all made sense. Remus wasn't crappy because he didn't have much sleep!, It was hardly a day until full moon‼ "Did Snivellus make the Wolfsbane potion for you, Mr. Lupin?" I said, now more seriously (please, no side-jokes about this and my name, _they aren't fun_). Remus was about to reply with crescent rage again, but I quickly pointed at the calendar with my thumb while walking towards him. He watched the thing eyes-opened-wide for a second… then he hit his forehead. _Really_ hard, to be true. I stared at him slightly concerned.

"I had _completely_ forgotten of it!" Well, Moony, with _your_ workload… no one would _dare_ blame you. "My God I'm such a waste…" I reached the table and sat beside him, serving him his cup of black coffee. It was warm enough still, so I didn't have to reheat it with my wand. I put the cup in front of him, patting his back while, crestfallen, he muttered nonsense.

"Lucky you to have _me_ around, huh?" I said, trying to bring some humor onto him. He glared straight to my eyes, his head between his hands. My effort didn't seem to work, so I gave him a 'my bad?' look… which he harshly disdained. I sucked my breath in, faking a hurt gesture. "That was _nasty_, Remus. Doing that sort of thing to your very best friend…" he was about to give out a sharp reply, but a faint 'poof!' announced that the elders were now here. I rolled my eyes, and when I turned around (trying futilely to mask my annoyance), I ended up flabbergasted. Dumbledore had a blank face, quite contrasting with his usual self, while McGonagall looked in the edge of breakdown. Each one of them held the arm of a trembling girl…

And when my eyes met her figure, I felt my heart fall to my feet:

**_It was the most heartbreaking, excruciating, and soul-wrecking sight that in my life I had ever witnessed. _**

Not only was she filthy and muddy-colored from plain dirt (let's face it, I wasn't precisely Mr. Clean when I appeared to Harry in that cave). She was skinny like a broomstick, nervous and shaky, looking frantically around her, breathing fast and heavily, _bleeding_ profusely from deep, deep cuts… after less than ten seconds, I turned around, not able to face her at all, taken aback beyond my self-control. To put it in one phrase: she looked as brought from _hell_. «My God… what have they done to that girl? » I asked myself, scandalized. I had seen people in Azkaban, all quaking and kicked out of their senses… but those had been grown-up bastards, not a tortured fifteen year old!!

I stormed out of the kitchen. I couldn't stand giving my mind anymore thoughts of the wizard's prison. That was _surely_ everything I _didn't_ need, having progressed so much out of the deep depression I had. I owed most of my recovery to Remus alone, who forgave completely my _horrid_ mistake of twelve years. He stood by me like not even my _brother_ would, and I thank him with my heart.

My mind was in mayhem. I walked wrathfully across the house, miraculously not trampling on anything. The only thing that crossed my mind was the sight of that girl. Her exposed bones, the ripped flesh, the crimson puddle that _surely_ would stain the kitchen floor… my _God_, how hadn't she died yet? For the state she was in, it looked like she had been repeatedly tortured with many different curses. Among the ones that I could think of, I'd say there _sure_ was the Cruciatus curse. I mean, I have no doubt of it since that's any Death Eater's signature. In fact, now that I think of it, she looked like Moony when transforming, half falling apart, half normal…

«_My God… how am I going to live with her? I can't even stare over a quarter minute! _»

"Sirius… Sirius?" I heard a worried voice inquire, a soft hand holding my arm. Making my way to the haven in which I had Buckbeack 'stored', I ran into Molly Weasley without actually noticing. "You look shaken, are you alright?" I was about to break free from her a little too violently (I just wanted to lock myself until the fear yielded), but I had a wild idea all of sudden. I stared at her for a while, ignoring insolently -but unintentionally- her husband. Then I took her hand in mine and dragged her full-speed to the kitchen. "Sirius, what…?!" she started. But I didn't need to say anything. We'd reached the place, Arthur trailing behind us. When Molly saw the girl, she broke down crying. Even Remus had his eyes wet… and I was to do the same if I didn't escape soon.

---

After that, there wasn't a _soul_ that could take the girl away from Molly.

Patient and carefully, both McGonagall and my cousin cleansed the torn-out creature. It was torturous for everyone in the house, for few numbing spells or potions seemed to work on her. Therefore, they had to just about heal her the muggle way. _And_ _therefore_, we had to cast an Impassibility Spell on the living room in order to stay sane and free of hearing damage. Don't doubt for a second that the idea of cursing her mute didn't cross my mind; the 'inconvenient' with it was… well, shortening it: magic _hardly_ works on her at _all_.

Nevertheless, after hours of continuous shrieking in pain, she was spotless. Her wounds had been disinfected with much, _much_ work from Molly, McGonagall, _Remus_ and even Dumbledore. Even after clean, though, the gashes were bleeding free, and since no spell nor potion seemed to work on _that_, it was decided to close them by _burning_ the crooked gashes with scorching knives. Remus told me that was the worst part of it, but it was that or letting her bleed empty. After that, she was tightly bandaged. It'd been tough, and at the end of the day we had to curse ourselves _deaf_ because the Impassibility Spell turned out to not be enough.

Thankfully, now she was sleeping. She hadn't uttered a single word in the whole day; but other than screaming when touched, she seemed to understand _why_ we did those things and tried her best not fighting back. It's a little funny, the whole situation… it affects me so bad that I've avoided been in the same room with that girl at all costs. By now, in the entire house there's only me, Molly (who's _also_ moved in, due to her recent discovered Healer vocation), and my currently-unconscious, brand-new guest. Molly is presently 'grocery-shopping'… so I'm locked in the very same place I've been shunning away from. Yes, _I'm_ _locked_. Molly cursed me inside this Potion-stinking room, telling me to 'keep a close eye' on the squirmy girl.

You'd think that after yelling until your lungs practically gave out, _any_ person would be tired enough to sleep two days straight; but NO. Not _this_ girl. She'd been tossing and turning even though she has a broken leg, a dislocated arm, and a recently reconstructed right hand, skull and rib not to mention, naturally, the big and many burns _all_ over her body… but seemingly, none of that can stop her. «Bloody kid, just lay still would you? » I thought of saying, while swiftly grabbing her good shoulder and pinning it to the couch for the umpteenth time. She was about to assume a fetal position, but thanks to me she stood in place: lying flat on her back, hands on her stomach.

I sighed and rubbed my eyes. I'd been doing the same thing twice every ten minutes, and was bloody _sick_ of it. Again, I sighed, convincing myself that there was no point in getting all worked up: «I'll have to 'take care' of her anyways, won't I?» Rising from my comfy armchair, I started walking randomly around the room. It had been a unanimous decision that she'd sleep in the room next to mine. For the record, that 'unanimous' decision didn't include _me_, they've banned me from any decision ever since I tried cursing her voiceless. _They_ all said it was best if she stayed as close to me as possible, 'in case of emergency'… yeah _right_.

Unconsciously, I had reached the window. It was cold outside, cold and rainy. Unlike my prior years, I now love rainy days. It's natural that I've 'learnt' to love them. A sunny day would only make me yearn to be outside, «And since I'm forbidden to 'for my own good'… I can very well wish for some company here, can I not? » I watched silently as the rain hit mercilessly my window. Unavoidable, then, was for me to help _thinking_…

«Where the _hell_ is Molly? »

«What the _hell_ is taking her so long? »

«… It's probably the rain, isn't it? »

« Yeah, most likely it is just the rain… »

«… »

«But, what about Moony? »

«I hope he ain't too bad… »

«I was supposed to be with him this full moon, after all…»

«…if it only wasn't for this _girl_, I could have had some outside air for the first time in _ages_. »

Like possessed, my face turned mechanically to the bed. I half smiled cockily. Luck was finally on my side for the unstill kid was finally resting as I up-to-the-time had been forcing her to. I sighed, relieved. Perhaps I'd even slumber for a couple of minutes, now that I didn't have to watch her so closely. Dragging myself to the armchair in front of the bed, I let myself fall hushedly. Careful not to wake the girl up I put my feet on the corner of the couch, not bothering her at all, but making myself comfortable. After looking for the less distressing position, I was ready to catch my well-deserved nap when a spine-chilling whisper echoed in my head.

"_Where am I_?" it inquired. It literally shook my drowsiness to the floor, for I jumped off the armchair, wand in hand.

I lit all the candles with a wave of my wand, eyeing sharply around me. The room wasn't changed at all, and obviously there was no one there… «I must be losing my mind », I thought, reassuming my position by the bed. It was probably just my aforementioned 'thinking' what had caused this paranoid voice-hearing of mine. Not losing the grip of my wand, I shook my head and choose to just let it go. It was unlikely that anyone was in the room, so the voices were just those Azkaban-sequels Remus warned me about.

"_Who are you?_" It came again, as sinister as before. I jolted, caught totally off guard. I would talk to Remus about this as soon as he was back… but I'm alone here, and have nothing to shut the damn voices with. «I might as well just try and amuse myself with it…»

_Like hell I would_‼ It's _bloodcurdling_, bloody hell‼ I can't just talk back to a chilly voice that seems to come from the nether of the deepest cave…!

"_This is not my dungeon. Why am I here?_" Oh, right. It comes from a dungeon, not a _cave_. **Silly** **me**. _Now _I can calm down. Truth to be told, I wasn't thinking at all by the moment. I was awfully freaked out. The only thing I felt like doing was clenching myself into the tightest ball and disappearing from the surface of Earth. That voice brought such coldness into my soul…

...That same artic sensation I've been struggling to forget for months...

...I couldn't avoid it...

_...I lost myself in the coldness..._

«The Dementors. They were closing in...

...I could _feel_ them closing in…

...I could feel them _gliding_ towards my cell…

...The icy sensation...

...Their heavy breathing...

...The shriek of my cell's door when they open it…

...They're opening it slowly, giving me time enough for the fear to rise…

...Yes, it's like this every time…

...They laugh…

...I hear them laugh at me...

...They love doing this _to me specially_...

...They suck my happiness in, taking their time…

...I know why they do it…

...Of course I do…

...Someone is sending them to specially torment _me_...

...They don't open any other cell unless there's a dead corpse...

...To me instead, they even _bring the bloody food in_...

...They do it on purpose...

...They laugh at me...

...They steal my memories...

...They make me more miserable than anyone else in the whole bloody prison...

...They _love_ tormenting me specially…

"...Oh James…"

"...Oh Lily…"

"...What have I done…?"

"...If it wasn't for me trying to be smart, your son wouldn't be an orphan by now…"

"...Oh Harry you must be hating me with your soul…"

An all of sudden, I felt my jaw twist... A punch? Dementors are un-corporeal, they can't _hit_…»

**"BLOODY HELL SIRIUS, SNAP OUT OF IT!"**

Was that… Remus' voice? So… I wasn't in my cell anymore? No, wait. I've been out of Azkaban for two years now. Right.

«Boy I hate these flashbacks. »

I was completely unaware of _when_ I lost consciousness, but by the time I came to my senses I was sitting on the farthest and darkest corner of the room, rocking myself back and forth, holding my knees tightly. I was covered in a cold sweat, and if it hadn't been for Remus, I might have stayed that way for a long, _long_ time. "Sirius, mate; talk to me." I heard him plead, his voice fear-filled. For a second, I thought I would be sick… but I started breathing normally again, and slowly started regaining consciousness of myself.

«I'm in my house...

...It's ok...

...I'm in my house...

...Remus is here, see? It's ok… it's ok…»

"I… I'm ok, mate. It's ok." I muttered. Still I was breathing heavily, but Remus helped me up and materialized a cup of chocolate while I sat in the arm chair again. It was dawn by then, and most of the candles had consumed so the room was hardly illuminated.

"Why was it now? Do you remember anything before, you know… before _it_ came back?"

Same old Moony of always, doing his best to not cause wrong. Not even to the people that have doubted him on no foundation. "I…" Remembering the wizard's prison was always the least welcomed thing. All the guilt slapped me clean and twice. «There he was, the man that I _dared_ called a traitor for over a decade, based only in the fact that he was a lycanthrope, not minding that he was one of my best friends… _Here_ he is, in front of me, deeply concerned by the pain and psychosis of the person he'd trusted for years, and from day to night just damned him like everyone else…»

«Doubting my best friend, bloody hell I _deserved_ Azkaban» I can't even stare at him.

He's truly concerned, very worried. He sat by the bed, in front of me. Apparently he caught my train of thought, for he just smiled and grabbed my nape. "Common mate, don't get all weepy on me!" he said, shaking me up a bit. I was about to snap at that, when the voice came right back into my head.

"_From here, it looks like you **did** deserve it, matter-of-factly_" it charged me.

"Bloody hell! Just leave me the fuck alone!" I couldn't help but shout back, grasping hold of the hair by the sides of my head, clenching over myself. Remus let go instantly of me. Well, I couldn't blame him. I would have surely done the same thing. Yet, I didn't want Remus to think I actually wanted him away from me. The entire contrary! He was everything I had now, since Harry's in Hogwarts. "I'm sorry mate, it caught me off guard" I blurted out, letting go slightly of my hair, ready to shout again if I heard the voice at all. I lifted my eyes to the man in front of me. To my mortification, sorrow, and most especially, _embarrassment_; Remus returned my gaze with a huge look between shocked and hurt. I hurried to apologize, something I can't get enough of doing after any relapse. "I, I'm sorry mate. I, I wasn't talking to you, I swear. It's just that, it's… there're voices in my head, Remus." I confessed. But he…

"I… I heard it too, Sirius." He cut me half-thought, alarmed.

* * *

_Hate it? Please let me know, I dislike disappointing people ; )_


	2. Chapter 2

**_Summary of the last chapter:_** «I must be losing my mind », I thought. It was unlikely that anyone was in the room, so the voices were just those Azkaban-sequels Remus warned me about. That voice brought such coldness into my soul… the same icy sensation that the Dementors gave me for so long… and I wasn't going crazy. "I… I heard it too, Sirius." Remus cut me half-thought, scared and expectant.

**(XX.)_ I'm beat. I specially hope you to enjoy this chapter, since it would seem like the WORLD itself didn't want it to see FanFiction's light. But here it is, finally! Special thanks to my two reviewers, MadeAnge and Ramzes. This one goes for you!!_**

---

"Where's Molly? She left quite a while ago. Do you think..?"

"She said she'd be shopping, but she went straight to her house. We agreed that I would take her place once the girl was stable."

I let out a curse. How did I fall into _that_? Trusting a Black… don't I ever learn? "Tricked by my own blood: great." I said, faking embarrasment. Remus cackled and I stared at him. We hadn't heard the voice in quite some time, so the mood was less tense by now. Which was fairly good, since I sincerely _needed _it. "It seems like you're enjoying yourself too much thanks to me, Moony. You know, I think I'll have to charge you." I said in a faked serious voice and he laughed.

I _am_ aware that I've been healing myself through him, making him laugh so that his happiness could be the one to fill my drained soul… but, as he had told me not long ago, he was as aware and willing as I was myself. His laughter clung onto me, and just when I was about to make another witty and funny remark, his laughing yielded to a question I've been trying to talk out of his mind for almost a full hour. "Now that you're so willing, you should start talking something worth it already." I _so_ have not been doing such a _brainless_ thing. "What put you in remembering mode? Was it that voice?"

I sighed heavily. He wouldn't just let it go. While I walked towards the door, it suddenly came to me. I had two options: telling him or _telling_ him. And, at the very least, I should keep some dignity, should I not? "Does it make you feel cold too, or is it just me?" I started, attentive to his expression.

He straightened, a little confused. "Cold? The _voice_ makes you feel cold?" he asked, too stupidly for Remus. "To me… well... it makes me feel _very_ frightened, that much is true." He added, staring at me with questioning eyes.

"So, the cold part was just my paranoia…" I filled, running my right hand through my hair. «I should get a haircut more _my_ age. I'm starting to look like Dumbledore…» I thought, «I've been delaying out of lazyness for quite some time now...»

"_Dumbledore… so this is where he said I'd be safe?_" the voice came again. Now, Remus _also_ bolted up. "_Bloody hell!_" it suddenly cursed, a trace of pain on it as if it was stung by something.

Remus and I exchanged looks. The voice was as bloodcurdling as before, but the speech _sure_ wasn't all that scary. Besides, '_where Dumbledore said it'd be safe?_' Does that mean that…? "Remus, call me insane but, can it be that this voice is the kid's?" It was absurd and unreasonable even to me, but everything (according to my over-imaginative, tortured mind) pointed towards that.

Our eyes fell on the girl at the same time and, indeed, her head was slowly moving. She was examining the room meticulously, like memorizing every inch. We, on the other hand, only stared at her like idiots. As she slowly studied the room, I had to force my vision to catch her eyes in the gloomy room. Her pupils had a strange and disturbing blue color, so light it seemed to fuse with the white stuff. Nonetheless, that wasn't all, for **also** her eyes _didn't _match When she slowly leaned her head towards us, scrutinizing the other half of the room, I could stare clearly. Her _right_ eye had that odd blue, but the _left_ one was plain grey, almost silver and as sinister as the other one. «Bloody hell…» I couldn't help but think, agape. Though it was pointless, I was about to make the comment to Remus when the dark and sinister voice sprang again out of no where:

"_They blinded me, that's why the color. My eyes are half dead_"

"Merlin!" Remus jumped, by my side. He had been eyeing the girl's eyes just as I did, and the echoing of that voice in the back of your brain, outta nowhere… I was more used to it, so I just cursed under my breath while Moony couldn't keep himself from screaming. "Then it's really you?" he asked. I stared blankly at him, at my right. He was very, _very_ tired... why else would he be so like... well, how can I say this... why is Moony being so _me?!_

"_Indeed. I can't talk very well, so I communicate like this. I'm sorry to have scared you._"

I _truly_ didn't like that voice in my head, as if my own conscience wasn't flawlessly obnoxious all by itself… "Can I offer you anything?" I said, trying to sneak out with an excuse witty enough to fool Moony.

"_Thanks, but I'm fine. Besides, leaving the room won't help you._"

"Bloody hell, how did you _do_ that?!" She had just used Legeremancy on me, but I didn't realize at all. There wasn't, in any moment, the usual shaking of your range of vision, nor the blinding sparkling right before someone broke into your mind. In fact, it was like I had answered to myself…

"_And you, other person that I hadn't noticed before, you're not thinking seriously of leaving your friend here by himself now are you?_"

"What _was_ that?" «So she used it with Remus, too? This is scary.» "What _did_ you do?" he asked, frowning and sitting in the armchair I had been in not much ago.

"_Can't explain. I just thought to and did so._"

That seems very much my own logics. Yet, for some _unknown_ reason beyond me, it bloody _fascinated_ Remus. "You mean, you didn't put any special effort on doing so?" He asked, leaning foward, deeply interested. I rolled my eyes. If it had been me that answered that way, he'd give me _such_ a glare...

"_No. Now, can you please answer my previous questions?_"

"I'm sorry, it was rude of me. What were your questions?" Remus said, a little embarrassed by letting his curiosity take him over. I could barely suppress my laguther as i realized that we were getting habituated to such spine-freezing voice unusually fast.

"_You weren't here when I asked. No need to apologize."_ She brushed away, waving her good hand lazily._ "I asked your friend where was I, who was he, and why was I here. The last one I remembered, but I still don't know who you are. The 'where am I' part you can overlook. I'm **away** and that's enough."_

I found it interesting that she wasn't as withdrawn as I thought she'd be. I mean to say, you expect some fear and watchfulness towards the rest of the world from a person that was continuously tormented, do you not? "Sirius Black." I introduced myself after a short silence. "May I ask what is _your_ name?"

Remus shot me a surprised look. I was being bold, yes, and he had _warned_ me not being so. He just sighed and rubbed his forehead. "And me, I'm his conscience. My name is Lupin, Remus J. Lupin." He said. I smiled nostalgically. 'I'm _their_ conscience' is more like what he used to say…

"_Thank you. I, on the other hand, do not remember my own name. I'm sorry._"

---

We talked until it was burning daylight. Remus and I agreed to not have her talk about what she lived among the Death Eaters, no matter how eager we were about that kind of information. She, on the other hand, promised not peaking into our thoughts… not that we would have the most minuscule idea if she kept or not her word. When my stomach started roaring though, the chat was over:

"Do you want something in particular?" I asked. Now I wasn't all that unpleased by her; instead, I sympathized. It was like she reminds me of someone I knew, or a _situation_ I lived…

"_I appreciate your concern. There is just one thing I would like to have._"

"Ask away!" I said, heading toward the door. It was odd, to be frank, but I was even starting to like her. It was only the creepy voice what kept me from attaching.

"_I'd appreciate a glass of cold milk, if you would be that kind._"

I froze, my hand already in the doorknob... «What the hell? ‼ »

Truth to be told, there wasn't much that I might have said… or done for the matter. I answered an unsure 'alright' and went right outside. Nevertheless, I couldn't help but think how odd a petition it was, cold milk. It was bloody freezing! And, _why_ milk? There were plenty of things I'd like to have after been tortured non-stop, among them _surely_ not milk. I would rather ask for something fancy like crème-Brule or… I don't know… fire-whiskey?

I was in the kitchen by the time, and it was _spot-less_. There was even soup on a caldron! Molly sure is caring, was my thought… even after tricking me onto believing her shit. "Another thing I don't have to worry about" I celebrated. I found the milk right away, grabbed a glass and went upstairs. I was actually wondering about this nice, sudden feeling of easiness…

**And then I heard the door knock…**

"Crap"

It was a matter of instants before my _sweet and loving, dearest mother_ woke up. "I am sick of telling you not to knock that godforsaken door‼" I yelled, leaving the container of fresh milk on the stairs along with the cup. I rushed to the door frame, to let in the intruder and, as well, say hi to the wonderful woman who gave me birth:

"SHUT IT YOU GODDAM OLD HAG. SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP‼"

Yes, it means 'good morning, my beloved mother'. It's just that we've developed a new, original and never-seen/heard-before way of expressing our love towards the other.

"YOU…. SHAME OF MY BLOOD! TRAITOR!" and so on, and so on… that, means 'good morning to you too, my sweetness'. _That's_ what I call true love.

Oddly, it was limited to that. I closed the lids quite easily this time, and she didn't seem to push it… I was more scared than relieved, truth to be told… "Afternoon Black," …until I heard the _disgusting_ voice resounding in the dim corridor,

Oh _bloody hell_. I'd rather have my mother vomiting insults hysterically. Of all the people that I could have opened _my_ door to, it had to be Severus Bloody Snape. "Well, well! If it isn't The Greasy Git himself! What a pleasure".

He smiled. I insult his guts, and he _smiles_… is this guy the weirdest or is it just my imagination? "This is quite strange, Black. Are you charging me by yourself, _all alone_?"

I frowned. What is he, trying to seduce me? "What is your business here, Sni- I mean, _Severus_?" I said, turning my back on him and walking straight to the kitchen again.

"My business? You mean, the sort of thing that you have so swiftly avoided for the last, what? Three years?" He said, with apparent innocence. I stopped for a second, ready to just turn around and hex him dead… luckily that impulse faded and I kept walking. "Yes. I _do have_ important 'business'. Risking my life for the Order gives me some 'business' to handle." He let go a fake sigh, dramatic, enjoying every second of torturing me. Then, out of sudden, he turned into a sick (also fake) joyful tone: "I'm surprised to see you acknowledge that much! You've sure made some progress here, Black. But, of course, _who_ wouldn't have had, after _three years_ of vacations." He kept on. But that was _it_. I would _not_ take another word without hexing his ass…

"You are quite early, Severus." …unless _Moony_ butted in. He apparated in the kitchen, most probably having decided to get that milk himself, and was helping himself with _my_ coffee. "A cup of coffee?" he asked, obviously noticing the tense atmosphere and choosing to pretend obliviousness to it whole.

Snivellus' jaundiced face twisted in a sarcastic grimace, and I snapped just before he uttered a single hurting word towards my friend. "Tea, then? I have this _great_ new muggle tea. I think they call it cyanide or something like that. It's quite _efficient_…"

"I think it's up to Severus, Sirius." Remus scolded me. "Anyhow, I doubt he'll take anything from me now." He added, taking a sip from his coffee and walking towards the door. "Come with me if you're that kind, Sirius." Uh-oh. Getting called to the backroom by Remus is _not_ as exciting as it might seem… I _swear_. However, this time he only said I shouldn't mention the girl upstairs to anyone that didn't know already. Relieved, I sighed and joked saying that I thought we were going to shag right there in front of my ancestor's portraits. He just glared, took another sip of his coffee and sent me straight away to keep an eye on the girl… which I did _gladly_.

While I picked the milk and glass half-stairs, I caught a very bizarre splashing sound. It would have been even funny… if it weren't coming from the room I feared it had. I drew out my wand swiftly and strode slow and carefully towards my room. I didn't quite know what I was to face with… but being careful was something natural in the times running. I peaked in once I was in the doorframe, and after seeing what seemed like a puddle of fresh blood, I didn't feel like peaking again. "A, are you fine?" I said half worried half nauseous.

"_I'm sorry about that. Please come in, I got rid of it._"

Not that I doubted her _very_ assuring words, but I didn't move. "I'd rather stay here, if you don't mind." I said, sliding down and sitting right by the door. Again, the same splashing sound echoed in the empty corridor.

"_Unless you're strong enough to help me swallow down that milk, this is not going to stop, I'm warning you._"

Was she calling me a _coward_? First Snivellus, and now this girl! What is this? 'Annoy Sirius Contest'?! Not that I was easily manipulated, but needless to say I jumped right in the room… which was completely clean. I stared at her, puzzled, and regret doing so. She was pale as death, and currently wiping her own blood from her mouth. It made my knees weaken, the fear. Her unequal eyes fell straight into mine, and there was just _something_ so natural in the way she acted… it was like she was more than used to wiping blood off herself. It might sound crazy and unsubstantiated, quite speculative to be frank, but that was the deep impression that she gave me.

"_I think I can hold it a while._"

She said, her tightly bandaged legs hanging of the corner of the bed. I was bewildered, uncalled for saying that I didn't move or broke the gaze until she spoke again.

"_Are you giving me that milk or do I have to go get it?_"

That sounded a lot more like the original, spine-freezing voice of hours before… pointless saying that I snapped right away. Nonetheless, while I walked towards the bed, I couldn't think of nothing else to say but: "What just happened to you?" She grinned and it scared me even more, seeing that her teeth were _awfully_ fang-like.

"_Ever heard of gastritis or bleeding ulcers?_"

"Oh. So it was _that_." I still had no idea what on Earth might she be talking about, but she was freaking me out and I _sure_ wasn't going to push it. I handed the milk-filled glass to her, and she drank it eagerly. Afterwards, she let go the loudest belch that in my life I've ever heard. I'm not a person prone to overstating, so this you can believe as true: _it was like a bloody roar_. I stared at her with eyes like plates, and she just smiled that frightening grin again.

"_Milk is actually the only thing I eat, but you told me not to say anything about that place so I'm keeping the details to myself._"

I was an inch from thanking her, but somehow I managed not to. Instead, I asked if I could offer her the remaining milk in the container. She stared at me, again straight into the eyes, and nodded slowly. I handed the pot with a shaking hand, for I somehow knew she wouldn't take her eyes of it after it was _empty_.

Once she drained the box, very carefully, I said: "Do you want me to go get more?" she blinked twice, and shook slightly the box. It was top-full. I was astounded. Of course I was familiar with the re-filling enchantment, but I had thought that you needed a _wand_ to perform such a task. It wasn't impossible doing magic without a wand (we have Moony as living proof), but I had it _also_ that you needed a _very_ high level of magic and enchantments for doing so.

On the other hand, while I thought and divagated on the subject, she just kept filling the carton container again, and again, and again; emptying it with the identical, invariable thirst and keen every time. I was twice astounded: first, magic without using a wand, second, non-stop drinking. After the seventh box, she started to calm down and I dared joked. "I sure wouldn't like you as a shots opponent." She stared at me with her silver eye, sitting legs-crossed on the bed.

"_Alcoholic drinks are tasteless to me. And I can't stomach them._"

She didn't get my sarcasm. I kept myself from making it clear and gave up with a very silly: "Oh is that right?"

She reassumed her swallowing, not minding much my uneasiness. Tired of just staring, I started walking again trough the room pointlessly. I reached the window, and realized it had started to rain again. "Damn London. Such a foul weather all the time." I muttered to myself, leaning my forehead on the cold glass. I'd rather take rainy days instead of pretty, sunny ones… but so much rain makes one depressed… and it brought that damned Snivellus in here. That's nothing to be thankful for…

"_May I repeat a question?_"

The now-familiar voice echoed in my head. I sighed; thinking of it, it was indeed bizarre of me to grow used to _anyone_ so fast (truth to be told, I've been with this girl no more than a day), but I hadn't really any worries about that. And finally, after half an hour of continuous silence, some conversation! "Do repeat your question, please." I said gallantly.

"_What can I call you?_"

I cut my gallantness right away. I was _lost_. "What do you mean by that?" I asked, wholeheartedly.

"_I am aware that your __**name**__ is Sirius Black, I was wondering how I should __**call**__ you. Mr. Black is ok, no?_"

"Oh **God** no!" There are many things that I don't take from other people, top of the list is being insulted that way. "Sirius is ok. Everyone calls me that." «Being called like all those bloody psychos: 'mister Black'… God please keep me from such an awful curse! »

"_Thank you for answering my question mister Sirius._"

'Mister Sirius?' Was she for real?? "Plain Sirius is fine. No 'mister' on it. That makes me feel like I have a domestic elf again." I said, shivering. She was about to (what seemed to me) laugh, but right then she started coughing. Violently. I was about to go downstairs and call Remus over, but she paralyzed me.

"_It'll go away in seconds, stay._"

Though she meant it like a plea, it seemed to me like an order. It was that bloody creepy tenor. Once her cough access was over, she let me go. A little unsure but daring as usual, I said: "You're absolutely positive that you cannot talk at all?"

"_I'm not used to it._"

"Yes, right. But it isn't like you have _tried_ to actually talk now have you?"

"_I, well… not in a long time, if it answers your question_"

Bingo! It fell right into my arms, a perfect way of getting rid of the freaky voice _and_ the overwhelming silence that mostly overcame us. "How about starting right now?"

"_I don't think so_"

"How bad can it be?"

"_Very bad indeed_"

"You don't have to sing the bloody national hymn! I just want you to _talk_."

After those words, there was only silence. Unless I was wrong, she was actually considering it. There aren't many things that I can do, but among the ones I do can, interpreting girl's words is sure amongst the ones I do best. "We don't have much to do, anyhow. Let's give it a try."

She eyed me suspiciously, now with her bluish eye. After making me sweat a bit, she said: "_You are right. It's a matter of time anyhow._"

I had to keep myself from jumping around, giggling like a little lass. Instead, I smiled and said: "How about starting with a small word? Lets say… 'yes'?"

She stared perfectly blank at me for a quarter minute. Afterwards, she spoke clearly enough to make me understand: "How about 'buTTon?"

I stared. And then I laughed, and so did she until a coughing access took her over. It was sure going to be fun having her around. No doubt her voice was a little cavernous, sort of grave and raspy; but I could understand her quite well. Once she started coughing, I swallowed my laughter and asked: "Was it all that bad?"

" _Not at_–_"_

"You were going great! Talk!"

"Not really. Can, can I stop talking like a Hallmark's commercial?"

Now she was being senseless. "Hallmark's? What _is_ that?"

She squeezed her eyes and stood from the bed. "Nevermind that. You wouldn't understand me unless I did." She said, leaping on the desk. When I was about to keep asking, she materialized a candle out of the thin air. Not that I was surprised by that, for any wizard can materialize things; what kept me from talking was the fact that the so said candle was three times smaller than the flame it supported. A _dark green_ flame, by the way.

"But, wh-, why, what _is_ that?" I asked; giving a step back at the blinding light it gave out.

She stared openly at me "If I recall well, it is a _candle_. But, I could be wrong of course." She talked slowly, calmly, very much like Dumbledore. Yet, she talked that way out of unfamiliarity of speech; on the other hand, Dumbledore did it out of caution of speech.

"I mean: why is that _candle_'s **flame** that way?" I had to restructure my whole phrase so that she understood… and I didn't mind for some reason.

After hearing me, she gazed at the candle by her as if she had seen it for the very first time in her whole life. After a while, she stared back at me. "I have no idea." She said. I, on the other corner of the room, could only smile. I was going to walk towards her, to have even a better look at that candle, when I realized something of vital importance:

«Her _leg_ was broken. »

«Her left arm was _dislocated_. »

«Her right hand isn't healed still. »

«Her ribs are half cracked…»

«How could she stand up, and walk, and _jump_ _onto a desk_?! »

She must have used her Legeremancy on me, for she stopped me before I even separated my lips. "I just needed to heal my head. That much was enough." She said in her usual, tentative way, raising a hand to keep me from talking and pointing to her temple with her right hand. "Can I make you an observation?"

"Well, sure go ahead."

"Why are you doing this?" «Why am _I_ doing this? » "Why am I doing this?" «Why is she following my game? » "You don't know, do you?" «Have _no_ clue» "May I take a peek in your thoughts?"

Oddly, she _again_ wasn't asking for it… even thought it seemed like so. I gave in, anyhow, what could she find there? We're talking about a fifteen year-old here. "Go ahead." I said.

"Once again: why are you doing this?"

«I, I have no idea…»

"Are you lonely? You've no one that understands you? You feel left out? Feeling left behind? Are you plain bored? Are you _insane_? Do you _pity_ me?"

"Wha-"

"…do you want me to pity you? Are you willingly allowing me to stay in your house? Are you feeling miserable? You want me to help you out? Are you broken?"

"What does all _that_ have to do with the initial 'why are you doing this'?!" I snapped once she stopped for air.

She smirked. She _smirked_ and I felt all color drain from my face. "I didn't say I would limit myself to nothing." But me, I was flabbergasted. I was _shocked_ beyond any talking.

I swear to God, she grinned just like James.

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**_So? Liked it? Hated it? Let me know!! nn._**


	3. Footsteps

_Well, first of all, I'd like to apologize for the huge delay. There where impending situations that kept me from uploading, regardless of my desire of doing so._

_On the other hand, this chapter is considerably shorter than the previous ones; but I found myself some time to breath and did what i could while it lasted._

_Having no more to add, I leave you to read. Enjoy!_

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Footsteps coming and going, people attempting to get in, but finding themselves forever in the outside. The very few that managed to decode the spell to open my dungeon's gate instantly backed off from the stench I had very hard learnt to stand myself. Even though my tranparent and daring nature incriminate them and strip their truths to themselves, and even though they would like nothing more than to slowly kill me, they aren't allowed to. They want to get rid of me, because I can see straight into their hearts. I used to be their toy, their 'test subject'… yet not anymore. Now I'm exclusively the snake-faced's property.

_«Holy Heavens and Dearest God, I've never seen such stupid and destructive, ill willed people.»_

They have to use wands to canalize their magic. Pathetic. I've been warned about them. They call non-magic people 'muggles', but to my level of magic, they're about the same… and they're infecting me with their soul-pest. Never in my life had I thought badly of another person… but of course, never in my life had I seen this type of sub-developed, people-wanna-be.

One of my biggest assets, my eyes, they've taken them from me. One of the less stupid of them (I cannot call him 'smarter', for you would _need_ to be at least above the chimps to be called a 'smart' wizard), he tried to use the 'Freezing Spell' on me and mistook the words… and half-blinded me instead. The pain was unbearable, so much that I fainted and next thing I know, everything's blurry in black.

At the very least, ever since that incident 'The Dark Lord' has me locked up in this dungeon, to which only he has access.

_«Seeing it from the East, at least I don't have to bear his minions.»_

Aware of every inch of my skin, due to the roughness of the floor and the constant burn on me, I clumsily stand up and reach for support. My hand reaches a wall; cold, edgy wall. Around me, there's nothing but stone-walls. Solid, limestone walls…

_«Calcium carbonate… there's no way I can turn that onto anything that could work for me.»_

I sigh and run a hand through my bold head. A month ago, I used to have waist-long wine hair… now due to the so many potions they've got me drink, I'm bold as an orb. Surely, I could grow my hair in a second, but the snake-faced aberration would _surely_ find a way to use it for his Ancient Potions.

It wasn't hard to figure where he got such powerful, almost alchemic formulas. After all, it were my direct ancestors who stole and hid those ancient magic books. Again, I feel my stomach twitch and twinge, making me bend over and puke my own blood for minutes on. When its over, I can't do but crawl away from the mess.

True, making the place unhygienic won't stop the snake-freak from testing his spells on me; but it sure kept away his minions… and that will surely keep me from their torture. They disgust me, the pathetic apes. Causing pain and torment just for the hell of it… poor, sad creatures; what's waiting for them I do not want to see.

Anyhow, I'm still trapped. Rubbing my abdomen slightly, mumbling a spell, I somewhat ease the pain of both the hunger and the wounds. Luckily I'm fairly used to be on my own. Alone. I _enjoy_ loneliness more than most of things, as a matter of fact. Again, I sigh.

…Never ending nights… that's all my life now…

…I feel bored to obliviousness…

…I can hardly stand without _something_ attempting to fall off, or me wanting to retch…

The only thing for me now is sleep. Sleep until my back hurts. Then wake up and hurl my own blood, stop my inner hemorrhaging and after that, even more sleep…

At least my dreams remain intact, and still provide me hopes with visions. Visions of another place that I do not know… visions of another place were I will be of use… visions, too, of my death.

…I smile while drowsiness slowly takes me over…

_«I'm looking forward to our meeting, whoever you people are…»_

_----_

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_So, for the time being, that's about it. I thought of maybe giving off a piece of the un-named girl's mind; since I'm thinking of a plot already and all. Well, until we see again!_


	4. Chapter 3

_**Well, well, well… on the last chapter, the last thing you read was:**_

She smirked. She _smirked_ and I felt all color drain from my face. "I didn't say I would limit myself to nothing." But me, I was flabbergasted. I was _shocked_ beyond any talking.

I swear to God, she grinned just like James.

_**So, on from there, right?**_

_**This chapter goes to Ramzes, my favorite author, whose support drove this chapter to life :D.**_

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"Are you ok, Sirius?" she asked, blankly. To be honest, I was feeling rather dizzy. In my mind, scenes flew at a vertiginous speed. It was like seeing a magic photo move all too fast, as if falling into a Pensieve and seeing all the memories together. I grasped hold of the sides of my head, feeling my brain crushed under the enormous amount of information…

I saw James' corpse behind the front door, staring lifelessly to the eternity; I saw Lily's lifeless figure up in the baby room, in her face still a plea. I saw myself going into their almost-crumbling house and getting little Harry out, cradling him into my arms regardless of my own tears of rage and scorching pain. I saw my supposed 'trial' and how I was tossed into an Azkaban's cell. I saw myself punch and yell at the walls: 'It was me! I killed them!' each time more anger arousing from me. I saw myself age old in the very same spot, in the very same corner, in the very same posture… and the newspaper in which I saw that _filthy, traitorous rat_. I saw myself slip between dementors in my Animagus form. I saw Harry, the day he was about to be crushed under the purple bus. I saw him almost get killed by dementors while trying his hardest to save me… and how much he resembled James that very moment…

And then I saw my prior years at Hogwarts. How I met James in Hogwart's Express. How he saved Peter from been pranked by seniors. I saw my selection ceremony and the howler with the Seventy Reasons Why Sirius Was to Get Nowhere, courtesy of all the living Blacks, that came the morning after it. How we met Moony… when we realized he was a werewolf and the first time we saw him transform. I saw the first time we all took our Animagus forms. I saw the Infamous Prank. I saw my graduation…

And suddenly, it all stopped.

As suddenly as it had begun, it stopped.

I was breathing heavily, in the corner of the room _again_. My eyes were so tightly shut that tears had formed at the corners. When I _could_ open my deadened hands, that still gripped the hair at my temples, I found it amazing that all of it remained in place. Slowly, I opened my eyes and looked around in the room. It was blurry and my eyes hurt, but everything was in place. I must have looked like a lost puppy, shying in a corner looking for my mom…

"Sirius! What are you doing there?" Remus exclaimed, as he had opened quietly the door and instantly spotted me in my corner. He rushed towards me and kneeled, obviously concerned.

"I… well, I'm fine now, that much is certain." I was getting real tired of these episodes, and even though Remus didn't mind picking up my pieces, I was not going to become his burden. «As if been cursed to become a mindless beast wasn't enough». I rose on my feet, swaying a little as if drunk, but I held to the wall and gained some balance. "Snivellus is gone, ain't he?" I said, quickly changing the subject.

Remus sighed, half relieved half suspicious. "Yes, Pads. _Severus_ is gone and won't scare you anymore." He teased… then I suddenly realized something I had momentarily forgotten. Alarmed, I turned to the desk on the other side of the room. I was expecting to find the girl there… but she wasn't. She was placidly sleeping on the naked, wooden _floor_. I faced Remus questioningly, but he only shrugged. "I was going to ask _you_." was his sole reply.

I thought it'd be better to let it go. Instead of pondering in the matter, I chose to tell Remus: "Think we should wake her? The floor isn't the best place to nap, you know?" I happened to stretch my tired back right then, and Remus cackled.

"You'd know everything about that, wouldn't you?" he said while we reached the girl and kneeled. "I say we place her on the bed. I, myself, wouldn't like to be woken up." He suggested staring at me in the eye, still looking for whatever made me crawl back into Pity-Me Land. But he's concerned, and I'm still not fully recovered, so I let him be.

"True. But I don't want to touch her. I'm afraid one of her arms might pop off or something." I joked, achieving my goal and making Remus laugh. "I say we Levitate her to the bed." I recommended as well, staring at the slightly curled figure between me and Remus.

Oddly, said Remus _smirks_. "_Is that right?_ Do so." he says, letting himself fall cautiously on the floor after making sure it wouldn't get his beige pants dirty. For a second, I think of telling him that blood was copiously hurled in that very same spot, but somewhere in my mind a giggly voice convinced me that he shouldn't be bothered by such trivialities. I vaguely point my wand at the lying girl and say in my mind the spell…but against all _dreamed_ expectations, I'm the one lifted in the air. Taken _entirely_ by surprise, I let out a curse that makes Remus stop in his crescent laughter.

"For the love of... Sirius, the last time I heard you say_ that_ you were giving Snape the finger!" he said, reassuming his laughter soon after. Unavoidably, I joined him.

When we finally could stop the flow of hilarious memories (helped, I _guess_, by the fact I was turning blue); Remus _kindly_ reminded me that, as he _supposedly_ had told me several times, 'few spells worked on the girl'. Of course, he _might_ have told me so… and I _might_ have ignored his words like I was to do right now.

After I remembered how to put myself back on my feet, I stared at Remus. "I hope you enjoyed this, Moony," I reprimand him with the look he used to give me when I was doing something fun like painting James' finger and toe nails with Three-Weeks-Guaranteed-to-Stay magic nail polish. "To keep _on purpose_ this sort of information from me in order to amuse yourself… I'm so ashamed of you." I kept on, whilst we both squatted at each end of the sleeping girl.

Even though I was really enjoying my one-sided quarrel/monologue, the glare Remus shot me killed the fun out of my game. "We'll lift her on three, ok?" he asked, looking himself for a spot by her shoulder that wasn't injured. As expected of Lord _Fuzzy_, he didn't wait to see me nod tiredly in agreement, answering his _order_….

"One,"

«… but to be precise and in fact, I was having a bit of a hard time myself finding…»

"Two,"

«…such a spot, but, oh! Here it…»

**"Three" «…is. »**

As I grabbed hold of both her knees, I felt myself spin uncontrollably while everything around me faded in blinding light. It was the most frightening sensation, for no matter how tight I closed my eyes, the radiance engulfing the room would still remain as strong. To make it simple, I felt as if drowning in a sea of shining light. Suddenly, all fear dissipated and joy filled every inch of my body, blossoming out my every pore. I felt like the sun, like a lightning, like all-consuming Fiendfyre… and as unexpectedly as it had all started, it ended. I wasn't spinning anymore, and the glow diminished until it became the faintest and most warm sunray.

Not frightened at all, but bubbling still with joy I looked around me. It was a place I had never heard of in my life. I stood on spiky green grass watching mesmerized how everything else just floated. Trees swaying smoothly were attached to the ground solely by the roots, giving the illusion to be tip-toeing in a ground that, though muddy, seemed like gold-dust. Some creature very much like a fish graced my ankle (that I was amazed to _not_ feel naked), but it wasn't properly a _fish_. It swam over the grass, and it didn't have scales; instead, it had some sort of cloudy fur that made me think of cotton-candy.

I fell to my knees, unable to stay on my feet while a faint breeze seemed to soak me with peace. I breathed it in, feeling it run through my lungs, through my veins, into my heart… I could have cried, I swear. Never had I been this content. Not even once…

"Sirius?" I heard Remus' voice call out. I sighed with disappointment. I just _had_ the feeling this was too great to be actually real.

«Do I _must_ be woken up right now? This is such a nice dream…» I thought, opening my eyes to find Remus staring at me, a smile on his face I had never seen before. It was sheer happiness written all over his now young and un-scarred visage. Frowning, I rubbed my eyes with a soft and unmarked hand. I could not believe what I was seeing, given the fact that my conscience was kicking in. but it was blissful confusion. I felt like I didn't understand, didn't recognize… but didn't care either.

"Sweet Merlin… Remus, I'm a teenager!" I stated, between worry and delight. In front of me, my best friend's smile widened.

"No joke!" he teased, turning around and letting himself fall on his back by my side. In his face I could see that he, neither, had ever been this happy in his life. "Do you know where we are yet?" he asked, in the slow yet bursting voice I had so long forgotten.

"Not a clue" I answered, overpowered by a feeling of 'just let it go' that compelled me to lie over the ticklish grass, realizing that it didn't matter where I was, just that I didn't want the happiness to end, the joy to yield… I didn't want that peace to leave me _ever_…

"So, are you enjoying your stay, gentlemen?" a sweet voice asked, some feet from us.

Even thought the natural response would have included some flinching (at the very least), easygoing as we now felt none of us did such thing. In fact, Remus and I merely stared at each other a second. «Are we enjoying this?» I thought to myself, staring back at pristine white clouds against an all blue sky above our heads. Remus laughed and said: "I can hear your thoughts, so you better watch yourself out." I stared at him in disbelieve out of the corner of my right eye. After a while I decided he wasn't lying (for some odd reason) and looked around for the source of such a heavenly sound when two male ones replied: "Now that you're here, even more."

«Merlin, that's the cheesiest line _ever_! » I couldn't stop myself from thinking, standing up and motioning the giggly Remus to follow me. "Well, while **I** have no idea where we might be; I'm _sure_ that Doctor Fuzzy _does_. Don't you doctor?" I asked him, a never-yielding smile on my lips. Remus stopped for a second, and lowering his voice, said:

"I think we're on the girl's mind."

Actually, he said it with such a peaceful and glimmering face that I expected him to burst in laughter and make fun of me anytime, but that didn't happen. I stared at him skeptically. "And just _what_ drove you to such a conclusion?" I asked again into his eyes. After a second, I saw him grin and point at my immediate right.

A few bushes away, three kids sat staring at the changing horizon. There were two boys and a girl, and while I could hear some whispering, I couldn't quite catch what was been said—

"Yeah, me neither. Lets get closer, shall we?" Remus proposed, not waiting for my answer and rising to his feet. He held out his hand and helped me up without taking his eyes off the threesome, fourteen feet from us. "If my theory is right, then they shouldn't be able to spot us." Remus explained absentmindedly while I shook off some dust from the exquisite gala robe I wore to my Hogwarts graduation ceremony. Remus turned to face me and _apparently_ add something to his speech, but instead he just looked at me head to foot and backwards and **snorted**. I raised an eyebrow as he said: "«This guy's such a chick» Interesting choice of clothes, mate. You make me feel underdressed." And yes, I heard his thoughts too. That wasn't a nice thing to think.

Actually, while Remus was dressed in his usual, sloppy, brownish clothes; I _did_ was wearing my fine, black gala robes. But I wasn't at all uncomfortable, not at all. I _loved_ the way I felt in them. It was the only thing me and my dearest, loving mother _ever_ agreed on. It was a superb fabric, almost glided on my skin. It was warm, but not heavy; gleaming, but not sparkly; sophisticated, but not arrogant; _damn expensive_, but** totally** worth it.

I turned back to Remus and waved him my smug-almost-naughty smile right before handsomely putting a hand in my chest and the other in my pocket saying: "You very well should feel so, my esteemed… erm… _mister_" It was my most infallible weapon: imitating my psycho-rigid, society-driven mother. Remus cracked in laughter. I, nonetheless, kept my dramatization and said: "Is there something funny in my words?! Or has your nervous system collapsed and, as a result, put you to this ridiculous, almost bipolar episode?!" Remus was literally roaring with laughter by now, so I couldn't keep the play any longer. I joined him as he leaned to the widest root of the nearest tree and we just laughed.

I had forgotten how fun it was to be a teen. To be realistic, I didn't make such a big joke; but the atmosphere, the place, and the company seemed to be perfect. After the first laughing episode, Remus was about to add his piece of humor to the conversation when two hands appeared right in front of our faces. Startled, both Remus and I gasped, resulting in our heads bumping into the _very_ hard aforementioned root.

"Sorry to have distressed you." Two identical voices rang in my ear while I rubbed the back of my head. I looked up to see two boys about our age (physical age, I mean to say), spiky _dark_ _purple_ hair messy on their heads, identical grins and mirrored postures.

"Yes, twins." The same voices repeated at unison, while I took one of the hands and was heaved to my feet. Remus was already up, and had started explaining about what had happened to us when they raised their hands in a 'stop' gesture. "We need not to know, but it's getting dark already and you shouldn't be out by then." They explained, easygoing smiles playing in their identical lips. "Are you looking for someone? Perhaps we might help you." They offered wholeheartedly, moving at the same time to put a hand on their respective hip. It was too odd, now that I think of it. Not even Fred and George are _that_ scary.

I was at a loss of words and so was Remus. We looked at each other for a couple seconds, deeply confused. Moony, the better mannered of us, politely asked for a word with me and excused us both. It was then that I noticed that the girl was no longer with them, and I was about to tell Remus when—

"Yes, I _know_ she's not." –he cut me half thought. I rolled my eyes.

"_Why_ is it that you can so well hear my thoughts but I can't hear yours the same way?" I inquired, crossing my arms on my chest as Remus stared perfunctorily into the distance. My question fell, seemingly, on deaf ears since the so said Moony didn't even retort back. I pocked twice at his cheek until he snapped out of his trance and said:

"My theory was wrong, mate. Now I'm starting to think we might really be dead."

Well, dead or not, we were in _so_ much a better place!

---

In the end, we chose telling the boys that we knew neither where we were, nor who we were supposed to be looking for, _nor_ why were we in this place. For any response, they smiled, patted our backs and said: "You guys feel free to tell when you are ready."

I, of course, was shot an 'I told you so' look by Moony. It had been my idea to not tell anything because, Remus Lupin had _lost his mind_ and now I was the sane one of us. I had been forced to play the Moony the Prefect in this place, since Moony himself was all into telling his life story to complete and absolute _teenage **strangers**_. "I'm sorry to be distrustful, but may I ask you a few questions?" I asked as nicely as I could. Moony was already chatting and laughing with _his_ twin while we walked towards God-knows-where.

He stared at me with child eyes for a while, and then lowered a bit his head to faintly chuckle. "Of course you may, man." He said, a broad smile in his face that somehow was too infectious to resist. I smiled as well.

"I'm Sirius. What is your name?" I offered as we turned west and started walking down the hill I had not yet noticed we were at. From there, an impressive countryside revealed to our eyes. I was marveled by the whole scenary. We seemed to be at a hill on top of a mountain, and at it's skirt lay a series of small houses. The cottages were painted in dim colors, melting onto the surrounding nature, but noticeable, standing proud amidst the paradisiacal garden all around. Actually, it was all so great, everything so magnificent as if in a canvas.

"Kronos, pleased to meet you Sirius." He said extending a hand towards me that I shook. He had neither a strong nor loose grip, it was quite adequate and that gave me a feeling of ease. "Next question!" he laughed, shooting a furtive look at his twin brother.

"Where are we?" I said, not wasting any time.

He stopped a bit in his tracks, and for a fleeting instant I saw a tinge of sadness in his grayish eyes. "I'm afraid I'm not the one suited to provide you that information, I am sorry."

I shrugged. "It's ok." «I had figured». "Then, why is it that you're inviting us to your place? I mean, you don't _know_ us, we could be fugitives from the law for what you know."

At this, he chuckled once more. "I understand your astonishment. Everyone that is not born in this place asks the very same question." He explained as we reached flat ground. He stopped a second, sighed and turned around to watch Remus and the other twin walk calmly towards us. Then he turned to face me. "No ill-spirited individual can reach by itself this place. Thus, there is no danger in us letting you guys into our home." He finished, putting a hand on my shoulder and shaking me up a bit. "Let me help you out." He adds and right then, something _definitely_ happened.

By that simple motion, I felt as if a considerable weight had just fallen off me. Instinctively I reached for something to hold myself to and Kronos offered me an arm. My breathing was so much lighter, and my head was almost weightless on my shoulders. I suddenly forgot what it was that made me always so grim and apprehensive. There wasn't a reason to anymore. No reason to worry about anything. I felt muscles in my forehead I didn't know I had un-tense. I felt, cheesy as it might sound, as the personification of the word 'light'.

Khronos smiled, pat my cheek, and motioned me to follow him towards a small fountain I had yet not noticed. By then, Remus and his twin had reached us. But I was still taking in the new found feeling that soared and spread all through my body. It was too hard to describe, too great to be put into words…

"So you've ascended at last!" The second twin noted, ruffling my hair and then tapping my shoulder. "Your friend over here was so much more precocious!" he joked, making Remus laugh. After that, he excused himself and joined his brother, who was squatting and picking water to pour into his mouth.

I stared at the gleaming Remus, who seemed to understand all of this much more than I did. "Ascend?" I dumbly repeated, not knowing what had _actually_ been said.

"Kosmos (that's his name) just explained me that 'ascension' is when you release what ties and 'chains' your mind to things you need not to be worrying about, or can no longer change." He explained, and in my eyes he was the same know-it-all I crawled to when I needed an essay to copy from. I laughed.

'These guys sure have odd names."


End file.
